F my damn life. Do I ever get to just have a moment to be me? To not be at everyone’s beck and call? I’m so done with this ridiculous bullshit version of my life. Every fucking thing I do is for someone else and it is so damn much.

Do you know what it is like to be constantly interrupted and talked over? Like what you were saying want even remotely written listening to? I swear that 80% of conversations with my family go this way. I hate being treated this way all the time. Why am I not important enough to be listened to? Nothing I say is worth hearing I guess. Just ignoring me and interrupting me constantly is becoming a way of life. I just want to fucking be done. I’m always the one left standing, the one left Forgotten, the invisible one. That is unless they need someone to babysit, then suddenly, there I am.

And the fact that even my brain is subconsciously aware that I can’t keep a doctor’s appointment because someone else always needs something from me. Even in my dreams, I know that making an appointment is a waste of my time. Like, should I see the doctor? Absolutely. Will I? No. I’ve had to cancel my last two appointments for other people. It’s not even worth making the appointments anymore.

Sorry that tonight’s post isn’t more upbeat. Some days this is how my brain works. Today was a bit of a mess for me mentally. Tomorrow will be better. Deep breaths and keep moving forward.

Writing things like this out in my notes app is how I get myself through these tougher moments. Occasionally, those notes will find their way here. How do you reframe things to help bring yourself back in these moments?