Been a while since I’ve done a mind dump, so here we go.

Taking on this 30-day meditation challenge has been a lot. And to not see any success in that just makes it that much harder to continue. It takes a lot of work, which was not surprising. But it just seems to keep getting harder and harder.

On top of that, I started that challenge in the middle of one of my daughter’s hell weeks, and will not end before the next one.

Then, there’s the fact that I’m having to drive door dash more, and at hours I’m uncomfortable with, because my husband still hasn’t been able to find a job.

My kids have no respect for my time and are constantly making demands on it.

I’m ARC reading a book.

I also started a certification course. But I’ve had no time to dedicate to the course. I was, and still am, really excited about it, and what it can do for me in many avenues of my life. But, with how little time I’ve been able able to devote to it, I’m wondering if this is going to be another thing in my life that I have to pay for but not see any results from.

There is no money, like none. I’m failing my children, and I’m failing myself.

I really just want to be done. I want to quit trying. I’m so tired. I’m tired of getting nothing in return for all the work I do. I’m tired.

My depression is riding high. My anxiety is out of control. I have not control over my life at all, and I’m falling down. I just need a break. A real break.