The Denver Metro Out of the Darkness Walk happened on Saturday. It is always such a pleasure to be a part of putting it together and giving people a place to gather and support each other. It is always a highlight of my year.

Most years are crazy hectic leading up to, and during, the walk. This time around wasn’t any different. At least not in the lead up. There is so much preparation to do. I run two separate areas, and so have twice the work to do. Luckily, mine are fairly easy. They still come with lots of needed organization, tons of inventory, and more interaction throughout the event.

This year, as a group, we did a lot of clean out and purging of things that are no longer needed. We also did some reinventing of how things work, especially in one of my areas.

Memory Area

The memory area at the OOTD walk serves as a sacred space where participants can honor loved ones lost to suicide. Notes, photographs, and heartfelt messages are carefully placed in remembrance, offering a tangible way to pay tribute. These mementos are then placed on a symbolic memory tree, creating a collective memorial that honors the lives of those who are no longer with us, while offering a space for healing, connection, and reflection.

For many years, we have used these brass “trees” to hang the mementos. They are beautiful. However, they are super heavy, hard to store, and not practical for our new walk location. I tried to find some pictures of them, but couldn’t find any in my memories.

For this event we went with more of a memory wall, and placed it, or them, around an actual tree to keep the symbolism alive. It worked out much better and gave us more space.

We also added a new, to this committee, section to our memory area. Many years ago, around 2013, I went to my first ever OOTD walk. In their memory area they had bracelet and key chain making. I still have the key chain I made. The clasp broke, so I keep it in a safe place in my bedroom. So, when I was asked what we should add to make the memory area more interactive for everyone, I suggested bracelet and key chain making making. It went over so well that we are doubling down on supplies and space for next year’s walk. It really touched my heart to see everyone take to it so well, and truly enjoy it.

Overall, the memory area changes turned out to be amazing choices and I am excited to see them growing and evolving in the years to come.

Volunteers

Man oh man. Volunteers are the life blood of an event like this. Every member of the committee is a volunteer, but it takes more than us to make it work.

Last year we moved to a new location in a beautiful park. The walk is a loop, or more if you want, around a lake. The extras, like the memory area, hope notes, resource fair, and food, are all in the middle of the park. It is a fabulous location.

Unfortunately, because of the move, or some unknown issue, we had almost none of our volunteers show up day of. It was terrible. We had no help for set up, or running the different areas within the park. It was a nightmare.

This year. At this walk we had so many amazing volunteers. They showed up, got straight to work, and never slowed down. They were proactive in making things easier for the people visiting our area. They gave out hugs to those who needed them.

Why I Keep Doing This

Honestly, I have been at this for years now. My responsibilities continue to grow. People actually trust me to get things done, and to know what those things are. This experience has been incredibly humbling. Throughout this experience the committee gave me back something that had been taken by previous committee members. They gave me back my belief in myself.

When I lost my brother to suicide I felt alone. My family and friends grieved with me, but it wasn’t the same deep rooted grief that I was experiencing. And there is no shade on them for that. Everyone grieves in their own way. But I had no one to talk to, no one who understood what I was feeling. Everyone around me kept moving, and I felt stalled. My entire being changed that day. I was a full on different person.

When I first attended an Out of the Darkness Walk, I did so by myself. None of my friends or family came with me. I think that in some ways I was okay with that, since my grief was so different, but I was also hurt to not have the support of my loved ones. What I found at that walk were people like me. People who needed others who understood. People who needed to be surrounded by those who truly got it.

In the years after that I did every Denver Metro Walk, three overnight walks, and started volunteering for AFSP. I started volunteering for the walk committee about seven years ago, and I will continue as long as it works for me and my family. I do that for the lost. I do it for the people who just need to stand there, look at a tree and sob. I do it for those who need to find a way forward.

These days, two of my three kids join me every year. My oldest started as a volunteer for my area, and has grown up being a part of this. They now man their own area, and are taking on another one starting next year. My youngest has been volunteering for three or four years. She is learning the areas that her family runs, but she is also fantastic about jumping in wherever she is needed, and often takes the lead when I am needed in multiple locations. They do it for me, but like me, they also do it for the lost.

Reflection

As I reflect on 2024’s Out of the Darkness Walk, I am reminded of the power of community, compassion, and resilience. This event continues to be a source of healing for so many, including myself. Whether through a quiet moment at the memory wall, the simple act of making a bracelet, or the embrace of a volunteer, we are all connected by a shared journey of loss and hope. I am truly grateful to be part of something that brings people together in such a meaningful way. Together, we honor the past, support one another in the present, and walk toward a future filled with understanding, healing, and light.