In my last post, I talked about small adjustments — not reinventing myself, but noticing where I’ve been neglecting my own needs and choosing to do something about it. One of the biggest places that neglect shows up is in how I care for my body. Not in dramatic ways, but in the quiet, daily ones: skincare, showers, and movement. These aren’t about fixing myself. They’re about treating my body with the respect it deserves.

Skincare as routine, not correction

Many people are given some insight into a skin care routine as a child. I was not one of those. Not trying to trauma dump here, but my parents didn’t care enough about anyone but themselves to help a girl out. I never had a special face wash, toner, or moisturizer. The same goes for healthy hair. I used the cheap soap all over my body, including my face, and sometimes even in my hair. I wasn’t taught how to take care of the outside of my body.

Skincare should be used to take care of yourself. I’m not trying to correct my face or my body. I’m simply realizing that I have not been taking care of it. I need to create a new ritual in which I am important and I deserve the care I have been neglecting. That neglect comes from not knowing what to do, as well as not believing I am worthy of the money it costs to take care of myself.

It is time to create a routine. One that puts me first, at least a little. I will be finding products that work with my skin. It might take some trial and error, but it will be worth it to create a routine that makes me feel better.

I’ve already started with a couple of things that I was given to try out and advertise on my TikTok. I have been using an under-eye peptide for a little over a month. And I have been mostly consistent, with great consistency for the last three weeks. Today I tried a face peel from the same company. I’m not going to lie, I love how soft my face feels now.

I almost forgot to mention lotion. For most of my life, good lotion has been an extravagance. I live in Colorado, lotion isn’t an extravagance, it is a necessity. My skin has been extra dry recently, and part of that is that I’m out of lotion, and haven’t given myself permission to get more. That stops now. I don’t need permission to take care of my body.

Showers as a grounding space

Showers are and have been an issue for me for a few years now. Not because I don’t like them, or even that I’ve been too depressed to take them. It is a matter of my family always needing something the minute I am about to step into the shower. Or they step into the shower moments before me. Or it’s time to wash the dishes, or start the laundry.

All this to say that I often only shower a couple of times a month. I know, gross. I have become an expert at the “hoe bath,” using a washcloth, or baby wipe, in the areas that need it most. And I do a quick water rinse of my hair every two to three days, with a shampoo as often as I can fit it in.

This is one of the boundaries that I am working on. I am going to start insisting on showers at least three times a week.

Showers are not only for cleaning ourselves. They are for regulating our systems, for grounding ourselves. Showers are where many people do their best thinking, where they take time to sit with the quiet. Showers are where I am able to quiet the constant circle my brain is in, and focus. It is where I have, for years, worked out my budget. Showers and baths have always been a big thing in my life. A place for me. A place to come back to myself.

Taking back showers will likely do more for me than just keep me clean. It will do great things for my mental health. Allowing me that time and space to ground myself. As well as decreasing the feeling of not being important enough every time someone else needed something that kept me from getting my shower.

Exercise as movement, not weight loss

I mentioned in the last post that I took control of some things because I didn’t like my lab results. When I started doing that, it included taking more walks and going to the gym a few times a week. I didn’t do any of it to lose weight. I’ve been “overweight” most of my life, but I had, until then, never been unhealthy. Sure, I had every doctor tell me to lose weight regularly, but I didn’t have blood pressure or cholesterol problems. I didn’t have breathing problems. All the things that doctors attribute to being heavy, and not a single one applied to me.

I worked hard on myself, and helped my children understand that your weight doesn’t define you. As long as you’re healthy, that is what matters most. And until those test results came in, I was healthy.

Exercise is great for both your physical and mental health. Exercise has been shown to reverse insulin resistance, aid in recovery from infection, enhance immunity, lead to a more diverse gut microbiome, and improve sleep¹. Exercise releases endorphins, helps take your mind off things, can build confidence, is a healthy coping mechanism, and can be a way to get more social interaction.²

I did lose weight. About 80 lbs. And I loved that for myself, minus having to buy a whole new wardrobe. However, that was just a bonus side effect and not the main goal.

Exercise, especially the hour or two I spent at the gym, was my “me time,” my escape from the world and responsibilities that sat outside. They didn’t go away, but I got a break. Going for walks in the afternoon or after dinner gave me a few minutes of silence from the chaos that is always happening in my house.

I also have Spina Bifida Occulta, a birth defect that affects my spinal cord. What it really does is pull my hips out of alignment. If I don’t keep my hamstrings loose, then I start having all kinds of problems. My hips hurt, my back spasms, my pain level increases. Regular exercise helps me with this, and it has been missing from my routine. I can’t afford the gym at the moment, but I do need to get back to doing daily one or two-mile walks. And stretching.

That is my adjustment in the exercise department. More walks, consistent stretching, and maybe trying low-impact yoga. It has become more and more evident that I have let this fall to the side as the pain in my back and my hips increases. It’s time to adjust and take this back for myself. To help my body perform at its best, not to lose weight.

Reframing “maintenance” as respect

Skincare and regular exercise aren’t maintenance for my body, or for yours. They are showing your body the respect it deserves for hosting you. I don’t know about you, but my inner voice is mean. Really mean. I’m constantly hearing it say I don’t deserve the things that I need. When I think of those things as maintenance, or upkeep, or social norms, that is when the voices are the loudest.

My adjustment will be when the voices are screaming that I’m not worthy, reminding myself that I respect myself and that it is okay to show that respect by taking care of my body.

What’s one small adjustment you’re making to care for your body this season?
You don’t have to overhaul everything; just one thing. If you feel comfortable, I’d love to hear it.

TL;DR

I’m making small, intentional adjustments to my self-care by building a skincare routine rooted in care, setting boundaries that allow for regular showers, and returning to daily walks and gentle movement to support my physical and mental health.

This post is part of the Small Adjustments series, where I explore realistic, sustainable ways to care for my health, mindset, and life.

1. https://medicine.yale.edu/news-article/yale-experts-benefits-of-exercise/ ↩︎
2. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/in-depth/depression-and-exercise/art-20046495 ↩︎