I found this list sometime last year. I loved the message but felt uncomfortable with some of the wording. These aren’t rules to teach our daughters; these are rules to teach our children. So, I’m taking the list and reworking it a bit, because these rules should apply to everyone. The original author is unknown, so I credit whoever wrote that, and thank you for giving me a great base to work from.

RULES TO TEACH YOUR CHILDREN

1. Never shake hands while sitting down; stand up and show respect for them and for yourself. You are worth knowing.
2. When shaking hands, grip firmly and look them in the eye.
3. Learn how to cook a signature dish.
4. Spend 30 min a day reading up on current events.
5. In a negotiation, never make the first offer.
6. Request the late check-out.
7. When entrusted with a secret, keep it.
8. Hold your heroes to a higher standard. And if they fall, find new heroes.
9. Return a borrowed car with a full tank of gas.
10. Play with passion or don’t play at all.
11. Don’t let a wishbone grow where a backbone should be
12. Whoever you choose to marry, you marry their family/children
13. Be like a duck. Remain calm on the surface and paddle like crazy underneath.
14. Experience the serenity of traveling alone.
15. Never be afraid to talk to the best-looking person in the room.
16. Never turn down a breath mint.
17. A classic outfit is worth 1000 words.
18. Try writing your own eulogy. Never stop revising.
19. Thank a veteran.
20. After writing an angry email or text, read it carefully. Then delete it.
21. Ask your mom to play. She won’t let you win.
22. Manners make the person.
23. Give credit. Take the blame.
24. Stand up to Bullies. Protect those bullied.
25. Write down your dreams.
26. Add value everywhere you go.
27. Be confident and humble at the same time.
28. If ever in doubt, REMEMBER WHOSE CHILD YOU ARE and REFUSE to just be ordinary!
29. Change the world, don’t let it change you.
30. Always be you! Hold your head up high, Be confident whenever you walk into a room and stay strong.
31. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel like you are less of a person. They have the problem, not you.
32. Be the reason someone smiles.
33. As your mother, I will ALWAYS have your back.

At the end of the day, these aren’t really rules.

They’re values. Reminders. Little pieces of wisdom gathered from life, mistakes, successes, and the people who came before us.

I don’t expect my children to get all of these right every time. I certainly haven’t. What I hope is that they grow into kind, confident people who treat others with respect, stand up for what is right, and never lose sight of who they are.

The world will try to tell them who they should be. My hope is that they learn to listen, learn, grow, and then choose for themselves.

And through it all, I hope they remember one thing: they are loved, they are capable, and they never have to face life alone.

As their mother, I will always be in their corner.